"How much do you think this advanced operating environment is worth?
"Wait just one minute before you answer! Watch as Windows integrates Lotus 1-2-3 with Miami Vice!" he proclaims in that all-too-familiar raucous tone.
Don Johnson doesn't make an appearance but some effort is spent explaining how the picture of a Ferrari can be pasted into Windows Write.
How exactly is Lotus, the software application, and Miami Vice, the '80s hit crime show, connected? I have no idea but you see, therein lies the problem with Microsoft ... even today.
Somewhere, somehow, there seems to be a belief that the agenda comes way ahead of relevancy and logic. And this mantra has once again reared its ugly head ... Microsoft's anti-Linux rhetoric seen rising a few decibels.
A company executive was in his element trying to dispel so-called myths surrounding the security of open-source software.
"One myth we see is that Linux is more secure that Windows. Another is that there are no viruses for Linux," Nicholas McGrath, head of platform strategy for Microsoft in the United Kingdom, told vnunet.com.
The first person who can name the last mass-mailing worm or virus that caused millions of dollars in damages to Linux customers wins a million bucks! Any takers?
On one hand we're told Linux is too immature to handle mission-critical computing. Then, McGrath says Microsoft isn't feeling the heat from Linux; it's Unix vendors which are suffering.
Again, McGrath trips over trying to get his point across but ends up seriously contradicting himself.
Unix, as known to the entire IT faculty, is time-tested and robust enough to run mission-critical applications. If Linux isn't up to scratch, then how, pray tell, is it competing with Unix, as McGrath has claimed?
And wouldn't Microsoft's time be better spent fighting the real enemy, in this case, Unix providers such as Sun Microsystems and Hewlett-Packard? Why give Linux and open-source software the free publicity? Baffling indeed.
No Microsoft interview is complete without the mention of patches and in the spirit of the Windows-is-more-secure-than-Linux argument, McGrath gives the assurance that, unlike the Linux community at large, Microsoft customers will always receive upgrades and patches mainly because the company doesn't shy away from responsibility.
One thing's for sure -- Microsoft is indeed responsible for making patches fashionable. No apologies, no explanations for defective products or security vulnerabilities. Users must be thankful and grateful that fixes will come their way for in this playbook, customer service is the biggest myth of all.
Fran, Sounds like shades of the Cold War but converted to Microsoft-speak.